Only now I realized.  I was a small girl with a big dream. 
Since I was distracted by that mushy stuff, I lost my focus.
Maybe now my Lord is calling me back,  to keep me driving on my own track.
It was a really big dream, something achievable,  something which isn't possible if I'm passionate and hardworking enough. 
I used to be afraid of some crappy stuff,  but after all, it's all decided by Allah the Almighty,  even before I was born. 

I am chosen by Him to study medicine because He knows, that this slave of him is capable of handling all those workloads (of a doctor of course)
After all,  He won't burden us with something unless we are strong enough to face the test
(Quran: Al-Baqarah, 1 ;153)

And I was lucky enough, as He really made my steps easier. Alhamdulillah :')